


A Distinct Lack of Self-Awareness

by Unforgotten



Category: X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Crack, F/M, Future Fic, Jealousy, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 11:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2580293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforgotten/pseuds/Unforgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik tries to manage Charles' affairs. It does not go well for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Distinct Lack of Self-Awareness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cygnaut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cygnaut/gifts).



> <3

There had been times over the last forty years that Charles had woken up to find Erik in his bedroom, dressed in his full Magneto outfit including the helmet, and not immediately known why he was being loomed over.

This, however, was not one of those times. Charles knew precisely why Erik was here, and why he looked so very irate. The only thing that surprised him about it was that Erik hadn't shown up three weeks ago. Perhaps high-speed internet had yet to make it out to the Savage Land, or wherever it was that Erik's hideout was located now. (He tended to move his base whenever Charles made a crack about its current location, which was whenever he happened to obtain that information via peeking into Erik's mind. He had no influence over so much of what Erik got up to, so he had a hard time feeling guilty about encouraging Erik's paranoia on occasion. In fact, he usually felt rather gleeful about it. Erik made it too easy.)

"Magneto," Charles said. He only used Erik's chosen name when he felt someone needed to highlight the absurdity of a situation, so it did seem appropriate here. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You're seeing that Shi'ar woman," Erik said, sounding like he hoped Charles would deny it.

"Lilandra. And yes," Charles said. Erik, who'd already looked like he'd swallowed something sour, now looked utterly betrayed. "We're not exclusive, remember?"

It was something Erik had reminded Charles of every single time he'd gotten involved with anyone else. Whether Charles cared or not, he got to hear all about it, followed by Erik reminding him they weren't exclusive, like he thought he was preempting Charles' objections. Meanwhile, every single time Charles got involved with another person, he kept it to himself, but ended up having this same conversation the moment Erik caught wind of it.

"I'm just not sure she's right for you," Erik said stiffly. "Do you even have anything in common?"

So he was going for the 'I'm just _concerned_ ' angle. Well, Charles could see right through that one.

"Actually, I think we have more in common than you and I do," he pointed out. He and Erik were both mutants, but it was literally the only thing they had in common; they were complete opposites in every other way. It was part of why they'd never worked, despite loving each other desperately.

"She's an alien!"

The last time Erik had used that argument, it had been 'She's human!' so Charles wasn't about to take that all that seriously. "So what? I like her."

"I don't see why."

"Well, that's fine, since you don't have to."

Sometimes, this was when Erik would leave in a huff, not to return until Charles' latest fling had ended. This time, he stood his ground and a moment later said, "I don't see what she can do for you that I can't."

"For one thing, we're going on a tour of the solar system next week," Charles said. "I'll get to see Saturn's rings up close."

"I made you an asteroid," Erik said sullenly.

"Yes. An ugly one," Charles said. "And you didn't make it for me, you made it for yourself, kidnapped me to it and expected me to like it."

"You said you did like it!"

"I did, but that doesn't make it any less selfish, or Asteroid M any less hideous."

Erik looked apoplectic. "Selfish? How am I the selfish one, when you're always dating people to spite me?"

That was it. Charles had had it. "Oh, really? That's rich, coming from a man with a four-year-old!" 

"That's irrelevant."

"Oh, it's relevant, all right." He and Erik had been on-again, off-again for going on forty-five years now. "Lorna was conceived while you were in a snit with me, you complete hypocrite. You think you can do anything, or anyone you want, but God forbid I even think about anyone else!"

(Actually, Charles had been rather hurt by that. Fortunately, he'd had enough impulse control to keep from showing up in Erik's bedroom in the middle of the night to accuse him of taking away Charles' ability to father children—at least, he assumed—he'd never wanted them badly enough to speak with his doctor about it—but that was beside the point—and then going off and fathering a child of his own forty years later. The nerve of him! But Charles, at least, could admit when he was being irrational, and had kept this to himself.)

They were both breathing hard, now. After a long moment, Erik said, "Let's get married."

"What?" Charles said. "I'm not going to marry you just because you're jealous of Lilandra. You probably don't even mean it."

"I mean it," Erik said.

"Well then, I'll think about it, and when I'm good and done with my love affair, you can come back with a ring and propose to me properly," Charles said. "Over dinner. With candlelight. Make it good."

There wasn't much left to say, and a few minutes later, Erik left.

Charles thought there was every possibility he'd come back with that ring, and that was exciting. Meanwhile, if, as it seemed, he was in danger of settling down, he was going to finish having his last great love affair first. He'd certainly need the memories, if he was going to have to deal with Erik every single day.


End file.
